Approval Seeking

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that being liked was the same as being safe. Maybe it was the teacher who praised the quiet, agreeable students. Maybe it was a parent whose mood shifted based on our behaviour. Maybe it was just the natural human need to belong, getting a bit tangled up with our sense of worth.

Whatever the origin, approval seeking is one of the most common survival strategies humans develop. It's not pathological or broken — it's actually quite logical. If acceptance and praise create safety, then of course we'd orient our behaviour around getting more of both.

The challenge comes when this strategy starts running the show. When your internal compass gets so quiet that you can't hear it over the noise of "what will they think?" When you realise you've been shape-shifting so long that you're not sure what your actual shape is anymore.

This isn't about becoming selfish or inconsiderate. It's about recognising when you're making choices from genuine care versus when you're making them from a fear of not being liked. There's a difference between considering others and losing yourself in the process.

Over three days, we'll look at how this pattern shows up in your daily life, understand why your mind developed this strategy, and practice tuning back into your own preferences and values. Not because other people's opinions don't matter, but because your own opinion of yourself matters too.